Kencha (2009)
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: July 12, 2009
A few years ago, there might have been a blockbuster (Kannada Movie), and it probably had a tag-line, in English. Following that leader, it has become mandatory for all Kannada titles today, to have a tag-line whether it makes sense or not. Kencha tag-line’s itself as ‘Man Of The Match’. What does this mean? It means, the director had no script/screenplay to begin with, and the only thing he wrote (probably on a old newspaper) was this tag-line.
Rahul, is a engineering student (all heroes are always in college. Why don’t they ever graduate?). He is orphaned, and is a big time philanthropist, and is the dude of college. He funds his philanthropy by betting on risky (according to the movie) activities like running and biking. Yeah. I am not lying. He falls in love, blah blah blah songs, and everything. Through some twists and turns (which seem forced) he ends up jamming with the underworld and has to fight a lot and finally one more last, big fight to save his girl (he needs to have a weakness, so slot load the heroine). Also, included is a mandatory back-story for the hero. That is pretty much the story.
I do complain a lot about Kannada movies (but continue to watch them. Sigh 
), and this tag-line, gave me enough as a heads up, that this movie has nothing new to offer. So, I walked in to the cinema hall with complete awareness to expect a standard issue Kannada movie. Which means there will be :
a) A Hero who is orphaned (available in the movie)
b) A Heroine whose only job is to appear in the songs, usually in skimpy outfits (available in the movie, but she is neither hot nor pretty)
c) Movie set in college, still every other cast member in the college scenes looks drastically younger compared to the hero (available in the movie)
d) 4 fights sequences, all of them involving the hero bashing up all the mooks one by one, while making sure all the bottles/empty boxes/crates/make-shift beeda stores are destroyed in the fight location(available in the movie and also, where do all those boxes come from? Why would any store keeper buy such fragile boxes?)
e) The hero is the top of the class, top in sports, top in college events, top in, well everything (available in the movie)
f) All the girls have a huge crush on him in the movie, as he is already studying in the college for at least a year or so. In spite of that, the hero is still single! That is until, the day heroine joins the college, and he immediately falls in love, even though there are better and hotter girls already in the campus.( available in the movie)
g) All the rowdies in the villain kill other villains using guns, but when they want to attack the hero they prefer hockey sticks and similar non-lethal weaponry. (available in the movie)
h) Hero walking away in slow motion, after delivering some punch-lines with metaphors in English mixed with words from Kannada (available in the movie, but why do the ever impatient villains keep listening to these monologues by the hero?)
Yeah, I already expected this, but my complaint is this. Why does the director messes up each and every one of these scenes. The Hero is orphaned all right, but where does he get the money to buy the branded jeans? If you really have to insert fight scenes, why does the choreography suck? Your story has nothing new, but the fights can surely show better style and craftsmanship. Punch lines are there, but why don’t they give any punch? There seems to be a general lack of attention to detail, and the director seems almost bored by the time 3/4th of the movie has passed, as the remainder of the movie is wrapped up in a hurry.
The acting is plain bad, which is evident by most of the cast being filled with has-been or television artists. The production quality is amazingly low, and even decent locations are not made the most of. All effort has been put in, to make sure that you will never have a single moment of suspense. The leading lady has no role, and the director fails to make the most of her looks as well. Bummer .
With movies like these, I will give 10 years before the Kannada Movie Industry goes down under. Good luck! Where is another Mungaru Male or Jogi when you need one?
Movie Rated -2 (minus 2) on a scale of 1 to 4.
Terminator Salvation (2009)
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: July 5, 2009
McG gets 2 things right with the movie. Hiring Moon Bloodgood as a pilot (god she is hot) and the Post-Nuclear War scenery. Everything else about the movie, is, well, so so.
I have watched all the Terminator movies so far, and they were like awesome (even the 3rd one was good enough). All the previous movies had these snippets of future war scenes which always made me think, ‘wow man. It would be awesome if they ever make a movie just about this war’. Salvation is supposed to do that, but in spite of everything being in place, it simply loses the plot somewhere.
Where does it go wrong? To start, why are the Sky-net (the computer system which is bent on destroying humans) Robots, depicted as morons. There is this nice scene where a T-600 (a predecessor to T-800) is trapped and hangs upside down. To get down, what it does is shoot its own foot (literally!) and letting itself fall without its toe. Well, it could have let itself fall, if it had aimed its rail-gun just a bit higher, and shot the rope which was holding it up. Duh!! Also, most of the Robots resort to punching and taking ages to kill a human, while, we have seen in Terminator 3, that even the simplest robots can get rid of a human in seconds. What’s up with that? I do agree that if the robots were so lethal, then there would be no movie at all, but after showing them as lethal in the first triology, how can you depict them as losers now. Also, why is the time travel not discussed at all? Of all the things, Time Travel is an integral part of the terminator movies.
Also, the casting which looks good, does not really do its job. Bale as Connor, just shouts and shouts. I am guessing, he just did not have enough time to prepare for the role. This being a future war movie, there are a number of supporting characters, but thanks to lack of character development, you forget every character as soon as they are out of the screen. Except for Kyle Reese’s character. Now, that is one guy, who we have met in Terminator 1, and he is really, really cool. Come to think of it, he is actually cooler than Connor in this movie. Another character you might remember, after she is gone from the screen, is Blair Williams, only because she is played by Moon Bloodgood who is just hot ( even though the reported nude scene of her’s has been cut to get a PG-13 rating. Bummer . Hopefully, it will be restored when the DVD gets released 
).
However, McG does manage to insert some shout-outs to the old movies. Kyle Reese says the line, ‘Come with me if you want to live’. There is Arnold (or his graphic image inserted on some one else’s body). A shot to shot copy of the T-800 walking on stairs from the first movie. He also keeps things in cannon. Judgement Day happened on 2003, Connor’s wife being pregnant (it was told in the third movie that Connor couple are gonna have kids) and so on.
Every thing is well and good, but one thing which seriously screwed up the whole movie experience was the Marcus Wright character. No, nothing is wrong with him. It is just that, till the intermission, it is not revealed that he is actually a robot. I (and million others), who have watched every pre-release trailer/clip/tv spot of the movie from day one, already know he is a robot. You know how? Well, those marketing geniuses working for WB made the big revelation in the trailer itself. Not only that, every big explosion, unique robot sequences and everything cool in the movie was simply showed on the trailer itself. I have seen several other movies (Spiderman 2 Trailer, for instance) who show the entire movie in the trailer, but with Marcus Wright being such a turning point character for the movie, they should have kept this secret, well, a secret. I am sure, if I did not know that he was a robot, and found out he was, while watching the actual movie, I would have liked the movie better.
Well, at the end of the movie, there is a sequel hook (Connor says, the fight will continue), but I doubt if it will ever get made. If not, I am sure McG will be blamed for that. Still, the visuals he has captured are awesome. If I ever had an idea, as to how the world will look if it went through a nuclear holocaust, I am sure the movie gives the right picture into my head. The deserted land, the destroyed buildings, the wreck of metal, the survivor camps. Also, the design of robots, awesome. Self propelling robot-bikes with built collision detection and avoiding protocols! Who comes up with stuff like that? McG has got the visuals and the robots 10 on 10. Unfortunately, he does not rate high on other things.
2 out of 4.
X-Men Origins : Wolverine (2009)
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: July 5, 2009
I have watched all the X-Men movies, and I remember this one scene from the the very first movie. It is the opening scene for Wolverine, and he is in a caged fight and takes a few savage blows from the other guy, who is not a mutant by the way, and after some time, as if he is bored, with one punch smashes the other fighter down. The sound, the high contrast camera work, all add up to a fantastic image projection to the character that is Wolverine. However, after that other characters are introduced (it is, after all a X-Men movie) and the focus is evenly distributed on all the characters for the rest of the movie.
When this movie was announced, I was, like yahoooooooo. Finally, I can get a 2 ½ hour version of the 2 minute scene which I have described above. Well, I never got it!!!
The movie sucks. Wolverine has some cool powers. He can heal, from almost any injury (even death) and he has retractable claws (made of bone in the beginning of the movie and made of adamantium by the end of movie). However, in spite of being a Wolverine movie, we hardly see these powers being shown. He is supposed to be bad-ass, and he was bad-ass in the previous movies. In this movie though, he prefers to punch even if the other guy is ready to kill him. What’s up with that? This is especially evident in the fights he gets into (and there a lot of them). I was hoping that there would be at least one scene, where wolverine is cut apart like hell, and I will get to watch him heal and put himself back together. A scratch on the forehead and that is all you get to see.
Also, since this a origin movie, they do show the transformation scene. God, they screwed this up big time as well. The dude has just been changed from made of bones to made of adamantium, and he finds out he has been tricked into it. He is angry, and what does he do? He runs. Why should he run? I mean, he can’t be killed. He has just got some indestructible metal in his body, so he is that much more dangerous. So, show the anger buddy. Rip the whole place apart, instead of running around butt naked!!! Use the claws and split apart of some of the mooks around you. No, did not happen. The flash back scenes of him being transformed in the original X-Men movies are any day better than this.
Another thing about wolverine is his rivalry with sabre tooth. Some really nice situations are set up so that, they can battle it outl. They are both unkillable. So, I am thinking, oh yeah it is gonna some bloodfest (but no deaths as they can heal quickly) with all kind of physical damage. Nope, not happening. All I get are some fistfights. Heh, if I want fist fights I will watch some kannada movies (which I do anyway).
And, the sheer number of characters. There is this fat guy whose skin cannot be damaged, the guy who can teleport, a girl who turns diamond, guy with laser eyes, the guy who shoots guns like hell, the guy who can charge things up… there roles are so small and insignificant that you can edit all their scenes out, without affecting the movie in anyway. Some times, it almost feels like another X-men movie (without all the coolness) than a Wolverine movie.
For all I know, these guys have no story to tell, which is okay because I am a huge comic book fan and I watch a comic book movie not for its awesome plot, but I do expect awesome visuals and memorable action scenes. There isn’t a single such scene in the entire movie. They build up situations, but fail to live it up. However, not everything is uncool about the movie. Wolverine, as portrayed by Hugh Jackman is simply good, but the real prize winner is Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson. He is a mercenary who does not shut his mouth up. Wade is probably the only the thing the movie does not manage to screw up, but they gave him so little screen time. Bummer.
I will just go and rent the previous movies, and hope that I will forget this movie was ever made. Actually, the trailer for the movie was more cooler than the movie itself.
2 out of 4.
Savari (2009)
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: July 5, 2009
How many times have all of us seen this happen (Both in real life and in movies)? Boy falls in love with girl. Does not waste a second in revealing his feelings. Girl, after days/weeks/months of pampering, finally makes up her mind, about to say yes, when something colossal happens (caste issue or guy has bad habits or her parents oppose it or hero’s brother is a rowdy or whatever the story writer can come up with) and she has to abandon him and does so without has much as a 15 day notice period. she has covered her tracks well enough, to make it almost impossible for the hero to trace her back. The movie starts at this point, setting Abiram on journey, which is the Savari in the title.
All kannada movies are love stories, so is this one. However, there are more elements of a road movie here with the romance details taking the back seat. As the journey starts, he is quickly joined by Gaali Seena (who always introduces himself as Seena, Gaali Seena 
), and soon they form this dynamic duo, going through the same set of events, which each of them reflecting on it differently. There is Abiram, son a multi-crore industrialist and then there is Seena, who is on the other end of the money spectrum and is actually a bike thief. As the Savari continues, Abiram reflects on his love story and how it crashed, and the farther his search for Janaki continues, the more he gets to know about life. He sees how life start’s, the difficulties common man faces through the life, and the end of it as well, all in a span of a week or so. I guess, it is pretty much what Janaki wanted from him, and as expected, accepts him at the end. Woman Power!!!
I watch a lot of Kannada movies, and can usually find 10s of flaws. In this one, though, the director is really smart and to some extent genre savvy. He keeps the movie length short (it runs at less than 2 ½ hours) and tight editing to the point that there is not a single irrelevant scene. For example, at one point, there is a confrontation between Abiram and a local goon. Any other director would have setup a rather long 10 minute fight sequence with 15 goons being bashed up by the hero with all the destructible parts in the location (vessels made of mud, glass bottles, road side tea stall, plastic chairs) destroyed. Here this whole fight scene is wrapped up in 30 second, once the point is driven home. I liked that. There is a item song, again, the bomb shell lady wear’s something believable and it is written into the story in a smart way, rather than seeming like a add-on. Of course, it is still there for your viewing pleasure.
Director dude, has focused more on getting the scenes tight and on the editing to worry about the acting, so not much of a emotion display by the hero and heroine, though the guy playing gaali seena is good enough. The songs are dead on, probably as dead on as Milana. Still, if only the same movie could have been made without the love story background, now that would have been a real achievement.
3 out of 4.
Quantum of Solace (2008)
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: November 28, 2008
Seriously?? Bond movie guys, you think you are doing the right thing?
Yes, you wanted to reboot, and you did it nicely, but why the fuck in hell, would you ruin everything you did?
Ten minutes into the movie I know I am gonna be bored. Your new director cannot direct action scenes. That conclusion I reached in 10 minutes. I kept waiting, the next scene is going to change my opinion. That scene never came. What is with the bad editing? Spend so much on stunts and all, and I never get to see a full shot.
I have my checklist (inside my head), which looks pretty sad.
Was there the gun barrel sequence? No.
Was there a catchy song with nude women visuals? No.
Did bond say, “Bond James Bond”? No
Did he get to use cool toys? Oh wait, No. I mean come on. If you are really doing a realistic movie, would it not make common sense, for Bond to at least have a car which has bullet proofing? So, MI6 is so short of funds, it is going let its best agent run around in a Car without even basic safety. That too, when he is escorting a critical lead. Stop bullshitting me.
Was there any smart lines and bedding involved? No.
Is the villain really a villain? No.
Does he even have a scary plan? No.
Was there even a single memorable scene? No.
Is this a James Bond movie, other than the lead characters name? No. I am sorry, it is not.
Was I at least entertained? No. I felt like sleeping, but since I had paid 200 bucks, I was forced stay awake to get my moneys worth.
This movie sucks. I will just assume that this movie was never made. Good luck with the next one.
Mummy The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: August 20, 2008
What the hell!!! Take a decent franchise, waste loads of money and ruin it. I remember watching the first mummy after standing in a long queue, and again the second one in a smaller but respectable queue. A plot of course is not expected of it, but where is the humor and action synonymous to this movie.
I went to see Rick O connell and evy raise, and then do there best effort to kill another mummy. I liked the trailer, and I liked the shift of scene to China. Dissappointment is all I got! 200 rupees down the drain. Too many characters on screen, and nobody gets credit for anything. Some dude, who is Rick’s son unearth’s the mummy. That too in a very simple fashion with a few booby tricks thrown in for ‘effect’. You are in china, come up with some original tricks for gods sake. If Rick and eve are retired then why make a movie in the first place. Most of the action scenes are done by, oh wait, no not Rick, but his son. Again for what joy. I know the director cannot just ‘delete’ the fact that a son was introduced in the second movie, but I don’t see any problem why any of the scenes done by this son, could not have been done by Rick himself. Is Brendan Fraser getting too old to act in the next mummy movie? No wonder Rachel weiz did not want to act in garbage of a movie. There are so many characters in this movie. There is Rick, evy, his son, jonathan, some chinese babe, her mom. Not one of them have a single good scene. I don’t even want to mention the chinese mummy emperor because he is not even half as cool as the other mummies. Not worth watching. Just do not watch it. I say this with confidence, as the only other 5 individuals, who were sitting in the theatre with me, sure did not watch it.
Incredible Hulk (2008)
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: July 5, 2008
Hulk Smashes, and How. I have seen the previous movie, and I must say, the new one is the movie I have been waiting for. Not having to compare to other super hero movies, because Hulk is no super hero. He is just some guy, who (like most other fiction dudes) by accident gets radiated by gamma rays (what else?), and gains this ability to become huge, green monster. The caveat is that, he has to be angry to become like that.
The approach taken in this version, is much more straight. Hulk is not about drama. It is about Hulk. Edward Norton, looks like a wimp, which is what Bruce Banner is. And Hulk is ungly and ferocious, which is what Hulk, and there is a awesome villain in the form of Abomination. There is the pretty lady, who is the only one Bruce loves. Hulk action is there, and there is a fantastic climatic battle, which is simply fantastic. The sound, the punches being pulled, everything is great. Awesome movie. Please go watch it.
Speed Racer ( 2008 )
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: July 5, 2008
I loved it. One word, and I will say it again. I simply loved it. Washowski brothers, really blowed me away with their ability to keep things simple, and what an effort. I remember watching Speed Racer cartoon, when I was a kid. The cartoon was set in the 60s about this guy Speed ( yep, his name itself is Speed, and his family name is Racer ) and about cars fitted with unique mechanics and every show was about unique dangerous races. Washowski brothers have brilliantly transformed the cartoon into a wonderfull futuristic crazy CG world. Some people may have complaints, but for people like me, who watched the cartoon, the scenery fits perfectly.
The story is simple. Speed Racer is a great racer, who is invited to be part of Huge Enterprise by the villain, and hell the truth is this billionaire has been fixing races for years. Of course Speed, would not want any part it, and the rest of the movie is how he manages to win the greatest races of all, the Grand Prix. The movie has no plot. Just go to the theatres, with the entire family ( including kids, as there is no nudity or profanity. Yes, there is a kiss, but, well you get an onscreen warning about it. : ) ), sit back and be thrilled.
Iron Man ( 2008 )
Posted by: vijayasimhabr on: July 5, 2008
I am not very familiar with the source material of ‘Iron Man’, but I must say that it is a neat movie. Of Course, the movie is not as amazing as Spiderman or Batman. He’s got no genetic powers. He is just a regular guy wearing a powered suit. Tony Stark aka Iron Man is a billionaire genius, who after a episode of danger realises the ill effect his own destructive weapons have on the lives of other people. So, he decides to suit up, and start saving the world. The suit, which of course is awesome, but reminds me of two things. The way RoboCop used to walk, and the last flying scene from ‘Jingle All the way’. Nevertheless, this movie is a decent start to a franchise, but it does not have a real villain to boast of. Also, Iron Man takes forever to show up on screen, but I do like Robert Downey style in the movie, with his funny lines now and then. Good movie. You can definitely watch once, but make it a point to watch in a good movieplex with decent sound system or forget it.
